The voice in E's head

35. "Everyone has their own Yoko."

Thought to myself on 6/24/05 as I was listening to the Sex Pistols on XM. I started thinking about the movie"Sid and Nancy" which is about the band's bassist, Sid Vicious, and his girlfriend Nancy Spungen. Nancy introduced Sid to herion and the addiction which followed has been contributed to the bands ultimate break up. Yoko Ono's relationship with John Lennon was also blamed for the Beatles breaking up. And we all have distractions in our lives that seems to move us away from our goals; we have Yokos.

E in conversation

34. "Why don't I just tell the kids you backed over the Easter Bunny while I'm at it, too?!"

Said on 6/15/05 to Mike, my brother-in-law, during snack time at our church's Vacation Bible School. We were in charge of keeping the kids from going nuts during snack time and as a gesture of good faith for good behavior and by way of keeping them calm, I promised that Mike would dip his goatee into his blue slushie. I didn't really get his approval first but, man, their little faces just lit up when told he would do it. Mike firmly refused to do it and wanted me to break it to the kids. The above statement conveyed my obvious disappointment.

E says it differently

33. "Music is the oil for the E machine. It's like Zoloft for the ears!"

Said on 6/14/05 as I pleaded with my boss to lobby our I.T. department on my behalf to unblock the XM Radio website. I was able to listen to streaming XM music for three glorious days and then I.T. smelled cheese and yanked my access. I probably could of just said that music in the work environment promotes good morale.

E in conversation

32. "She's looking down the barrel of the thing, of course she saw it!"

Said on 6/22/05 during our small group bible study after a nurse shared a story of how a male nurse friend of hers got hit in the face with breast milk during a postpartum breast exam. Someone in the group said, "Did she (patient) see what happened?" I'm thinking if someone is squeezing fluid out of me, then I'm going to be privy to it, right? Well, that's when I uttered the above phrase. Hey....utter? Ha, two in one day.

E original phrase

31. "That's galactic!"

Said on 6/21/05 as I was jamming out loud to the band Galactic at work. It struck me as being a more up-to-date catch-phrase. Example:

Me: "How was your weekend?"

You: "Great! I went on a killer hike!"

Me: "Ya, man, that sounds galactic!"

E in conversation

30. "Of course Michael Jackson didn't have a jury of his peers. They'd be hard pressed to find a jury of his peers even at Barnum and Bailey."

Said on 6/13/05 to my wife in a conversation about the Michael Jackson Child Molestation Trial. She said he wasn't going to get a fair shake because the jury wasn't a "jury of his peers". I agreed. A jury of his peers would consist mostly of nut jobs. The courts found him innocent on all ten counts. He should still be punished just on the merits of his character alone.

The voice in E's head

29. "I've got the walking nasty."

Thought to myself anytime I get some sort of unexplained bump, rash, cold, or cough.

The voice in E's head.

28. "DON'T TELL ME WHAT I'M GOING TO OR NOT GOING TO DO! Who are you, freakn' Nostradamus? You don't know what I'm going to do."

Thought to myself on 6/08/05 in preparation for a confrontation I was anticipating with the manager of the store next to ours. We share the same dumpster and he hates that I don't break down my cardboard boxes. He commanded me to break them down last time we spoke. I just waited until he left then I tossed them into the dumpster. This thought was just me sharpening my verbal sword.

E in Conversation

27. "Three Dollars!? Is Juan Valdez flying it over personally?"

Said on 6/08/05 to my buddy Chris after he told me what he paid for a cup of coffee.

E in conversation

26. " It would be like EDtv over here if I recorded everything I said."

Said on 6/06/05 in a comment I posted earlier to day in response to Mike's suggestion that I post something I said to him. Checkout the dialog here.

E says it differently

25. "Another day of gravity."

Said on 6/06/05 to my buddy after he explained how he had survived nearly crashing his motorcycle. He walked away with just a sprained ankle. This saying made it into the E lexicon after hearing Wide Spread Panic's song Counting Train Cars. Widspread use it differently so I can justify claiming this use as my own. I suppose I could have said, "You were lucky this time", or , "You cheated death". This just seemed to paint a more encompassing picture of life and death.

E in Conversation

24. "They don't make eye brow toupees."

Said on 6/03/05 to my wife after assuring me that she wouldn't mess up my eyesbrows if I allowed her to wax them. It's not going to happen.